Where is the hickey?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
