When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
