Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
