They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
