I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
