you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
