Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
