can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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