Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize