I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize