so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
