And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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