Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
