Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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