I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
