He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
