I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
