Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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