Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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