she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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