god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
