haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
