How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
