the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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