Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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