She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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