I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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