Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
