I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
