He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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