All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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