Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
