I must be too annoying 4 u.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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