I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
