I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
