The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
