He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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