sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
