Bisexual people are plain selfish.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
