I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
