What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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