have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
