So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
