I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
