i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That accounts for only three of the penises
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
