Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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