No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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