If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
