just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize