so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
