Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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