I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My pussy is not your playground.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
