if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
