whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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