i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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