We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize