she pinky promised me she was 18
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
