you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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